idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
