Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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