who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
