Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
