Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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