everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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