Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
