right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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