did you get engaged???
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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