I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
