It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
