How'd it feel making her break her religion?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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