Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
