i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
