I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
