let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
