I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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