Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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