So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
