he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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