Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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