around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
