my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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