Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
