I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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