I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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