i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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