i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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