I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
