I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
