Ambien. No doubt about it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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