Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
