I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I said "one day" and that day is not today
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
