He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize