I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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