What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
