apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
