it was like his penis was on wheels.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
