Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
