When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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