Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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