you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you inspire me to be a worse person
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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