; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
