my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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