So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I currently don't understand fingers.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
