I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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