Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
