I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
