wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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