just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
