I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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