Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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