Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
