How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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