the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm too high and old for this...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
