Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
