im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
