once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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