It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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