ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
