she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize