Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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