I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
