Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize